I Wear Cotton

We Built This City…

Neil Crosby — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 07:00:11 +0000

When we built this city, we didn’t go down the traditional route of bricks and mortar. We didn’t go for the currently in vogue technique of Rock and Roll. We didn’t even use jam and scones. Instead, we got out our old Lego bricks and started building that way.

Sure, it took a long time to build the city, but since it was funded by the government they didn’t seem to mind that we we over budget and over schedule - what we came up with in the end was pretty, if a little bit uncomfortable to walk around on in bare feet.

I’m a big fan of Lego, so any shirt showing a minifig is immediately going to score extra points in my book. Add to that the use of Starship’s “We Built This City” and we have a winner.

The shirt isn’t over the top, using a simple single colour print. The print colour is Lego minifig yellow, and the typeface is the classic Lego font. Add to that the fact that the minifigs are the modern era “simple” minifgs that I grew up with and this shirt quickly became a must have for me.

“We Built This City” is printed on a red American Apparel t-shirt and is sold by Busted Tees for $18.99. It comes in both male and female sizes.

Brains!

Neil Crosby — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 18:28:43 +0000

Frankly, I’m an idiot. When I bought this t-shirt, I bought it because I got a feeling of “gee whiz, it’s the scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz but he’s a zombie now!”. It wasn’t until a couple of weeks later that I realised “oh… in the books he wanted brains, didn’t he? Oh, that’s kind of funny”.

So yeah, like I said - idiot.

The thing I like most about this shirt, and which isn’t obvious from the photos on Busted Tee’s site, is the fine detail of the scarecrow. If you look closely at the image above you’ll see very thin lines of dark brown around the bright red of zombie-scarecrow’s eyes, and light green detailing around the tufts of corn protruding from his clothes. It’s scratchy, but it’s there and I kind of like it.

“Brains!” is available from Busted Tees for $13.99 in both men’s and women’s sizes. It’s printed on a bright green American Apparel t-shirt and it wants to eat your brains.

Beware of Beard

Neil Crosby — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 08:59:56 +0000

I bought this shirt a few months ago now, when I was in the full flow of not shaving for Bearduary. The world was good, my life was happy, but my beard was starting to take on a life of its own - it had to be stopped!

“Beware of Beard” is a full frontal print. It’s big, and takes up the entire front of the t-shirt. But it’s cool. Raise it up over the lower half of your head and you can pull faces, and people will never know whether you’re sporting hair or not. This t-shirt tells the world that beards aren’t to be trusted, and if you see one you should run away, fast. Either that or stroke it. I’m not sure which.

This is the first shirt that I’ve bought from turn nocturnal, and it’s a good’un. The print has a high quality rubbery feel to it, and is printed on a Gildan Heavy Cotton t-shirt. My only (very minor) gripe is the postcard-sized Turn Nocturnal logo on the back of the shirt, but even that’s not that obtrusive.

Given the fact that I love this shirt, it’s a pity that Turn Nocturnal don’t have anything else in their selection that really inspires me. I’m sure a lot of people would love Puctuation and sans-serif, but they just don’t do it for me.

“Beware of Beard” is currently available from Turn Nocturnal for $10 and it’s printed on a dark red Gildan Heavy Cotton shirt. Unfortunately only small sizes are still available, but you could always ask them to reprint - it couldn’t hurt. Yarr.

Noodle Surprise

Neil Crosby — Tue, 20 May 2008 20:46:04 +0000

This shirt is perfect for me. For those of you who don’t know, I’m missing the top third of the ring finger on my left hand. Of course, no-one ever notices, so I end up showing them and telling the the story about how I lost it. In the real world it happened in a pork pie factory rather than a noodle sweatshop, but it’s the missing finger that’s important, not how it was lost.

Of course, this shirt isn’t just good if you’ve lost a finger yourself. Maybe you know someone who has, or maybe you just like eating human fingers. Whatever your reason, this cheeky little print is sure to brighten your day.

“Noodle Surprise” is the first shirt I’ve bought from Split the Atom and I’ve got to say I’m impressed. I ordered it in the wee small hours of Sunday morning and by the time I got home from work on Tuesday it was there, sitting on my front mat waiting for me. They also made me smile by including a sticker in the package to go onto my laptop. Sure, it’s a little big to be able to go on in one go, but I can cut it up a bit and fit it in somewhere. It makes me happy when something a little extra arrives in the package with my shirt.

“Noodle Surprise” is printed on an orange American Apparel shirt, and is available from Split the Atom for £15.99.

Control? Escape!

Neil Crosby — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:40:45 +0000

Since it’s GTA IV week, what could be better than a good old geek inspired cops ‘n’ robbers based t-shirt? Not many things, that’s what.

The t-shirt itself is pretty simple. A CTRL key dressed like a policeman is chasing after an ESC key. Obviously, the ESC key tried to fight the law, but it looks as though the law is going to win. C’est la vie.

Maybe things aren’t as simple as that though. Whilst the CTRL is definitely a cop, the ESC could just be a normal person - he isn’t wearing the stereotypical striped convict’s outfit so beloved of the 1920s. So, maybe the t-shirt is actually an allegory of the control the state has over our lives and that the common man must always run to stay alive.

Or, maybe it’s just a cute t-shirt.

“Fugitive” is available from uneetee for $17.99 and is printed on a asphalt American Apparel shirt.

Mr File Attachment Got Dumped

Neil Crosby — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 11:45:36 +0000

This file attachment in a OS X style trash bin was just so darned cute, I had to have him. Files have feelings too, you know.

Unlike the actual OS X trash can though, this bin is for recyclables. You see? As well as wearing a groovy t-shirt with a very cute piece of paper on it, I’m also making a social statement - recycling is good. Of course, the little TPS report dude isn’t going to be too happy, being pummelled down into pulp and all, but what can he do about it? Anyway, he’ll probably get turned into something far cooler, like a wonderbra advert from the 90s that causes people to crash their cars. Or maybe a post-it note.

Whatever happens to him though, I’m sure he’ll be happy that you chose to buy a t-shirt that immortalised him.

“Mr File Attachment got Dumped” is available from uneetee for $17.99 and is printed on an American Apparel t-shirt.

The Mondays

Neil Crosby — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 09:10:58 +0000

Is it wrong to wear this t-shirt on a friday? Probably, but since it only arrived today that’s when I’m wearing it.

Ian Brock has pitched this t-shirt from Uneetee at just the right level. I’m sure that all of you out there who work in an office have taken to doodling on post-it notes whilst on the phone at one point of other. Most of you won’t have theorised about brutally murdering your workmates, sure, but I bet a lot of you have come close at one point or another. And for you Office Space fans out there, the design even includes what looks like a red swingline stapler. In fact, pretty much the whole t-shirt is an Office Space reference, isn’t it?

“The Mondays” is available on a slate grey American Apparel t-shirt from Uneetee and costs $17.99. Probably best not to wear it to work though.

Teenage Mutant Ninja 80s Reference

Neil Crosby — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 20:10:21 +0000

Ah, the 80s. Weren’t they great? Rubik’s Cubes, and power suits and Turtles. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They were awesome. Of course, in the UK some of the awesome got removed when the word “Ninja” had to be replaced by “Hero”, but that’s just being picky. The Turtles were truly awesome, and become a marketeer’s wet dream.

So, when the Teenage Mutant Ninja 80’s Reference became available from Diesel Sweeties, I had to get one for Becca. Paul Southworth’s design lovingly pays homage to the logo from the 1980s TV show and has me bundled up with nostalgia every time I see it. The print has a nice rubbery feel to it, and the colour is as vibrant as you’d expect from Diesel Sweeties tees.

Teenage Mutant Ninja 80’s Reference is printed on a green (what else would it be?) American Apparel t-shirt and is available from Diesel Sweeties for $18.00. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be available in women’s sizes any more, but you do get to buy it as a men’s Hanes t-shirt if you’re not a fan of American Apparel.

It’s okay Pluto, I’m not a planet either

Neil Crosby — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 15:40:11 +0000

When I saw this t-shirt on Snorg, I immediately knew that I was going to buy it for myself. Things didn’t quite work out that way though - I showed it to Becca, she loved it too, so I bought it for her instead.

There’s been some controversy about whether Pluto is a planet or not over the last few years, and whilst it was finally decided a couple of years ago that it wasn’t, I still believe in my heart that it must be one. Our teachers wouldn’t have told us things that weren’t correct at school, would they? Oh, and the earth is flat.

The thing I particularly love about this tee is the tiny tear that Pluto is shedding. It’s not overly aggressive, it’s not in your face, it’s just sweet.

“It’s okay Pluto, I’m not a planet either” is available from Snorg Tees for $16.95. It’s printed on an American Apparel shirt, and is available in both male and female styles.

Choose Wisely

Neil Crosby — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 13:49:42 +0000

Rock, Paper, Scissors - The eternal struggle between good, evil and mediocrity. Or so my mother said.

“Choose Wisely” is the first tee that I’ve bought from Snorg Tees and it’s pretty nice. Whilst the triptych is fairly simplistic, the icons are recongisable enough surface that childhood memory of managing to win five games in a row just by not opening your hand. Of course, then some numpty would inevitably decide to introduce a “black hole” or other ridiculous game mechanic, turning the game of mental dexterity into a travesty.

As with all of snorg’s shirts, this is printed on a nice American Apparel tee, and is available in both men’s and women’s styles. Men’s shirts come in a choice of “cranberry” or “natural”, and women get a “hot pink” shirt. Why can’t men get that option, eh? I’d honestly rather like to have a nice hot pink tee in my collection, but maybe I’m a special case.

“Choose Wisely” is available from Snorg Tees, and costs $16.95.